~You are the most scrutable man I know.
From all the jokes and memes about it, I was expecting it to be campy and ridiculous with bad acting, which it is for the most part! I wasn't expecting it to try and be telling serious stories though, even with a shoestring budget. Like each episode is trying to say something or make some kind of philosophical point, and everyone is playing it straight-faced, or as much as they can. I didn't think it'd be that serious about it!
It's also wildly uneven, with episodes jumping from weird plot to weird plot in ways you don't see in shows too often today. Sometimes they're in space, sometimes they're in Rome, sometimes they're in Nazi Germany, sometimes they're in an ice age, it's all over the place! There's no rhyme or reason to it, and a lot of the time stuff happens because of space gods that just do ridiculous things for no real reason, like making them re-enact the shoot-out at the OK corral because I guess they had some Western costumes left over from some other show they were making.
It was fun to watch! Well mostly, some episodes were kind of boring and one in season three really sucked (Elaan of Troysius), and I loved all the characters, even if they were also really uneven and sometimes disappeared without warning (Sulu was on vacation so much! Sulu come back!). Spock and Bones and Kirk really make such a great OT3, haha. There's also something kind of... I don't know how to phrase it exactly, but knowing people way back in the 60s also saw how gay everything was is just... like hands reaching across time maybe? Feeling connected to a different era? How things change but stay the same? I'm not sure what to call it.
Anyway, I was watching it over a long period of time, like an episode or two here and there, and finished season 3 just recently, although I still have the movies to watch! I couldn't really remember a lot about what happened in a lot of the episodes, so I decided to try and write some quick summaries of them to remind myself. It's kind of funny which ones are the ones I remembered.
Season One
- The Man Trap - lady eats salt out of people's bodies, i don't really remember this one very well tbh
- Charlie X - evil space child
- Where No Man Has Gone Before - two drama queens hog up all the airtime
- The Naked Time - this is the one where everyone freaks out, Spock has a good cry, Sulu runs around shirtless, A+ all around
- The Enemy Within - Evil Kirk, maybe the one where they have a pet dog in a wig they pretend is an alien?
- Mudd's Women - Mudd's this recurring womanizer, i forget what happened here though
- What are little girls made of? - Some guy makes android copies of everyone
- Miri - Evil space children, this is the one where Kirk goes BLAH BLAH BLAH at them
- Dagger of the Mind - Spock does a mind meld! I don't remember anything else
- The Corbomite Maneuver - ????
- The Menagerie - The original pilot masquerading as two episodes. Pike is more boring than Kirk. This whole setup was kind of boring tbh
- The Conscience of the King - ???
- Balance of Terror - ??? There are Romulans in this one I guess?
- Shore Leave - This is the one where they go to a planet and see a whole lot of weird personal hallucinations and Kirk gets beat up by an irishman
- The Galileo Seven - I think this is one where Spock's left in charge and he and Bones get into a really dramatic fight about it
- The Squire of Gothos - Some theater kid with psychic powers wants attention
- Arena - The one where Kirk fights that lizardman, I think
- Tomorrow is Yesterday - Weird time travel episode, maybe a stealth pilot? These ones are so weird
- Court Martial - ???
- The Return of the Archons - Space gods being weird
- Space Seed - ???
- A Taste of Armageddon - I don't remember this episode at all but this summary is wild. Computers have a simulated war but whenever someone dies in the simulation that person in real life has to go into a Killbox to die for real
- This Side of Paradise - Sexpollen but with happiness. Happypollen
- The Devil in the Dark - guy in a sheet is a monster that eats rocks
- Errand of Mercy - Klingons are in this one but they're in their weird proto-forms
- The Alternative Factor - Some guy named Lazarus is having brain fights with an evil him in another dimension, the rest of the crew seem pretty uninvolved with it. Hilarious visual effects
- The City on the Edge of Forever - The one where Spock and Kirk go back in time to the 1930s and live together in a small apartment with one bed for a while
- Operation - Annihilate! - Spock gets a deadly frisbee thrown on his back
Season Two
- Amok Time - PON'FARR also one of the few times you get to see Spock really happy about something
- Who Mourns for Adonais? - Space Roman God on a power trip demands attention. I think Chekov appears out of nowhere to join the cast in this one
- The Changeling - The Nomad robot shows up to kill imperfect things, this is the one where Uhura gets her mind wiped and it's just handwaved away, messed up
- Mirror, Mirror - Mirrorverse! Everyone gets to be evil this time
- The Apple - Space god screwing with a planet again
- The Doomsday Machine - Don't remember this one
- Catspaw - Space gods again. Kirk starts slutting around
- I, Mudd - This is the one where everyone acts insane to confuse the robots and everything that happens is amazing
- Metamorphosis - ??
- Journey to Babel - Spock family drama, I don't remember too much about it
- Friday's Child - ???
- The Deadly Years - Radioactive planet that makes you age really fast
- Obsession - Kirk is obsessed with revenge against a floating cloud of dust before it kills again
- Wolf in the Fold - Scotty's accused of being Jack the Ripper who it turns out is an evil intergalactic immortal entity that's been running around for centuries
- The Trouble with Tribbles - Yay Tribbles!! :D They're so cute!! There's some subplot about political rice but who care
- The Gamesters of Triskelion - Pure fic premise where they end up on some slave gladiatorial world with shock collars and Kirk gets whipped but mostly just looks kind of annoyed by it
- A Piece of the Action - They find a planet that's modeled after mobsters in the 1920s for no reason at all
- The Immunity Syndrome - Giant space amoeba
- A Private Little War - they land on a primitive planet, give them guns, then shrug and leave after causing total chaos
- Return to Tomorrow - Space gods messing around again, this time they possess people to make androids
- Patterns of Force - Nazi planet for no reason
- By Any Other Name - Enterprise gets hijacked again by space gods
- The Omega Glory - this stupid episode has an entirely separate new planet that somehow has a copy of the US constitution and flag on it as well as a corrupted form of yankee, nothing in this makes any sense at all, rah rah AMERICAHH what is this episode
- The Ultimate Computer - some guy tries to sell his AI program as better than a human but it completely botches it and almost gets everyone killed, this episode is surprisingly prescient
- Bread and Circuses - Space romans kidnap them and make them fight gladiatorial battles again. Spock and Bones have an intense emotional argument about feelings and how they love their mutual boyfriend
- Assignment: Earth - Stealth pilot where they travel back in time really casually again and some weird dimension hopping guy with a cat has to stop the cuban missile crisis or something, very weird episode
Season Three
- Spock's Brain - Aliens steal Spock's brain. Weird sequences of Bones controlling Spock's body with a little handheld device, there has to be porn about this
- The Enterprise Incident - Romulan cloaking device! Bunch of subterfuge about stealing it, I don't really remember it very well. I think Spock fell in love with a Romulan lady?
- The Paradise Syndrome - Kirk lands on Native American utopia planet and says his name is Ki'rok now, it's extremely silly and pretty racist. Completely insane ending scene where Kirk's sad about his wife dying and Spock touches his head and tells him to forget while he's passed out to make him feel better, like spock??? woah???
- And The Children Shall Lead - Evil space children with an imaginary friend, has that one bit where Kirk collapses into Spock's arms and then stares at him inches away really intensely for like a minute
- Is There No Truth In Beauty? - Alien ambassador is so ugly it'll make you go crazy and die. Blind telepath lady loves him anyway though
- Spectre of the Gun - Space gods make them act out the Shoot-out in the OK Corral, everyone in this episode is acting like a moron about it being real even though they told them it was fake. It does have Spock mindmelding with everyone and it's super intense, giant brain orgy
- Day of the Dove - Klingons get stuck on the ship and some ghost that feeds off of anger makes everyone racist. Very funny moment where Scott calls Spock some slurs and Spock is like "I think humans are kind of annoying :/" and then silently raises a fist to beat him to death
- For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky - Bones thinks he has a terminal disease but most of the episode is actually about a weird false-Earth cargo cult. Has some cute scenes of Kirk and Spock being worried about sickly Bones and Spock touches him a lot
- The Tholian Web - Kirk gets lost in-between dimensions and everyone thinks he's dead, he leaves a post-mortem tape for Spock and Bones telling them they need each other and to get along which is cute
- Plato's Stepchildren - Psychic space romans almost make Spock tapdance on Kirk's head. This is the one with the interracial kiss. Spock also gets pretty mad in this one
- Wink of an Eye - Space gods can't stop going too fast
- The Empath - Another fic-like episode where Kirk gets chained up and tortured and Bones tries to sacrifice himself to save them both and gets tortured almost to death and his clothes get torn, Spock gets intense about it. There's a lady who's an empath or whatever too I guess
- Elaan of Troysius - Taming of the Shrew in space, this episode sucks
- Whom Gods Destroy - They go to a prison planet where everyone's crazy and a guy who chews the scenery even more than Kirk tries to masquerade as him, absolutely bonkers performances from everyone here, amazing
- Let That Be Your Battlefield - Two guys painted black and white chase each other across space to kill each other, racism is bad
- The Mark of Gideon - Kirk gets lost between dimensions again thanks to some space gods who are overpopulated this time, they want Kirk's cooties on purpose to kill everyone. Genuinely creepy shot of Kirk makin it with a lady while a group of ghost heads watch through a window
- That Which Survives - Weird primitive planet of stupid people is controlled by a big computer. WHAT IS BRAIN
- The Lights of Zetar - pretty space god lights possess Scotty's new girlfriend
- Requiem for Methuselah - Nonsense episode about some immortal old guy who is somehow every important person in human history ever but lives on some planet a billion miles away
- The Way to Eden - Space hippies take over the Enterprise
- The Cloud Minders - Cloud people are racist against ground people. Spock falls in love with a lady in this one, very weird
- The Savage Curtain - SPACE LINCOLN versus GENGHIS KHAN in a BATTLE TO THE DEATH
- All Our Yesterdays - Planet has people who time travel to the past to escape the apocalypse, Spock acts super weird in this ep because he somehow regresses to ancient Vulcan horniness?? Very handsy and mean to Bones, also sleeps with a lady he instantly falls in love with??? very weird episode
- Turnabout Intruder - Bodyswap with a lady in Kirk's body and the overacting is crazy from both of them. Weird mention of the Federation being sexist against woman captains even though they're supposed to be a utopia
The funniest summary though is this video someone made with one second from each episode lol. I'm kind of sad it's over but there's still the movies to go!
lj post
